Sometimes you don’t have to search for a good man. When you least expect it, he will find you. In a lot of instances, the man himself isn’t even looking for a relationship, but likes what he sees in you. He approaches you and you’ll hit it off right from the start. It’s been known to happen. Then there are times when you’re focused on everything but finding a good man and run right into one. Literally.
Have you ever heard the old adage: “opposite attracts?” Well, it’s true. For example: You may have already consciously made it up in your own mind that your particular type is a man that is tall, muscular, ruggedly attractive with his own car, crib, six figure income, no children and no baggage that could later result in unnecessary drama for you. With that image of what you want in mind, you specifically go on the hunt with a made up mind not to settle for anything other than your own preconceived idea until you find what you are looking for. However, when you find what you’ve been looking for, you discover that he travels a lot and has a woman in every city, but because you are convinced that you have that “good-good” you believe that your sex and your personality will be enough to change him and make him settle down.
Conversely, you meet another man who is the polar opposite of what “you think” you are attracted to. He turns out to be a short stocky janitor at your child’s school, whom you normally speak to five days a week when dropping off your child. Just normal cordial greetings and pleasantries as you walk right pass him without a second thought. He works two jobs, lives alone, drives a beat up old Chevy, no children, is humble, and loves to see you coming. He’s waiting for that real relationship. That one woman that compliments him.
He could very well be that good man that will rock your world, but your eyes are closed to anything other than what you’ looking for. You should try it. If you find yourself still waiting, searching for, and wanting that good man? Try looking for the opposite of what you think you want. You might just find yourself deep in love with a good man.
Often times they come disguised as a plumber or an electrician, maybe he provides sanitation services. He could be a construction worker or a bus driver. Good men come in all forms, just as good women do. If you categorize men and think the good ones are only the rich or well to do, then think again.
I’d pick a sweating, hardworking, honest, focused and goal minded man over a man that doesn’t know what it is to struggle or fight for what he wants. Because at the end of the day, if he waited for you and won you over, he will take more pride in knowing that he put in work and it paid off. Big time. He will look at you with pride and say that you were worth it.
Now, let’s talk about trust. One of the best things about having a good man is that you don’t have to worry about him cheating. Good men love one woman at a time. It’s the way they are built. The stress and drama a side chick brings, is not worth it to him. He knows what he’s got and he will not jeopardize it for no one.
He is very protecting of his woman’s feelings. He won’t sit around and let other people bad mouth her or disrespect her. He speaks truth. He’s very open about where he’s going and what he does. He feels he has nothing to hide. A good man likes to know he can leave his phone unlocked and his woman will not touch it.
He likes to know he can leave his mail laying around and she will not read it without his permission. He has nothing to hide. Don’t just assume he’s doing something wrong. A good man goes out of his way to make sure you KNOW you’re the only woman in his life.
Don’t get it twisted, any man can be tempted, but when it comes to being a good man, other factor’s matter. He’s not so easily lead astray. A big butt might look nice to him, but not nice enough to disrespect or disappoint his woman. Therefore, trust him until he gives you a reason not to.
Another factor to take into account about a good man, you better appreciate him while you have him. Once you take him for granted and lose him, he’s gone. Good me feel deeply because he knows who he is. If he’s put time and energy into a relationship with you and you mess it up, he simply moves on. One thing he won’t do is back track. Once he’s done, he’s done. Simply because he understands nothing will change. He’s been there done that. He won’t give you another opportunity to break his heart.
See the thing about good men is that they set the standard for every other man. Once you’ve found one and lost him, you will forever be searching for another man to treat you the same way or better. Every new man you meet you will find him lacking. Therefore, be good to him.
At some point, most women get the opportunity to experience the kind of love and affection and security that only a good man can give them. Once you do you know that there is nothing like it in the world. If you’ve never experienced it, good luck in finding it. Just open your heart and mind to change. Good men don’t require you to spin on your head and jump hoops around them. They are actually very easy to please.
Most good men just want peace in their lives and to know the woman they are with is not accessible or available to any other men but themselves. That she has chosen him and that she’s trust worthy. To know she won’t be tempted to cheat the minute he turns his back. To know that she has his back and that she truly loves him for who he is not for what he’s got. That she can listen to his dreams and encourage him to always strive to be a better man.
He wants to see that special smile she reserves just for him each day. if a day goes by without him seeing it, he will do everything in his power to bring it back. A good man is not afraid to show his sensitive side to his woman. He lets his guard down for her, simply because he’s secure in his manhood and knows exactly who he is.
Now let’s deal with the flip side of a good man. Never make the mistake of thinking a good man is weak. Nothing could be further from the truth. It takes a lot to get him angry. He will hold things in until he can’t stand it. When he gets quite, look out. Once he makes up his mind not to deal with a certain situation, you can be sure a change will take place, maybe not right then, but a week, month, or even a year from now, he will deal with the issue.
That does not mean he’s holding a grudge, it simply means he knows his worth and he also knows that he doesn’t deserve mistreatment. Especially when he’s treating you good. He will simply walk away. Done. It’s over.
I hope this little insight helps you on your journey to finding and keeping a good man. Life is hard enough without one, but with one, the sky is the limit. You have someone you can lean on and hold you up in a tough unforgiving world. Be thankful. And if you already have a good man, hold on to him.
Again, this is just my point of view…..Jennifer Cannon