If you are a man and you have a daughter, there are a few things that I want to share with you, not just from a woman's point of view,....but from a mother's point of view, and more importantly,.....from a daughters point of view.
For a girl who has an active father in their life, everything that they will ever come to know, think and feel about what a man is or is suppose to be, will come from what she learns from you. More importantly, what she comes to understand about how she should be or could be or will be treated by a man, she will learn from you. Not just by what you articulate to her, but from what she sees from you with her own eyes. Children learn from what they see and what they hear. So what she witnesses with her own senses will have more impact on her beliefs than anything she hears from word of mouth.
Single parents do a phenomenal job every day of raising their children as best they can on their own, I have nothing but the utmost respect for them. That however does not negate the fact that it takes a woman to teach a daughter what it takes to be a woman, just like it takes a man to teach his son how to be a man. The roles that each parent plays in the lives of their child help define the identity of the child. Mothers are living examples to their daughters on how a woman is expected to carry themselves. How to maintain themselves. How to respect themselves. Only a mother is capable of teaching her daughter where there is strength in her vulnerabilities or how she is able to function and prosper in a male driven dog-eat-dog world, but it is the father that helps establish for his daughter, her greater sense of self-worth and self-esteem. A daughters first true love, is her father. In traditional values, he is the model that all other men will have to follow. And what you instill in her as a child will stay with her all the days of her life. Treat you daughter like a princess and she will carry herself like a princess until her prince comes along to make her His Queen. Treat her with disregard and she will be reckless with her choices and consequently her life, because if her first love, (you, her father) doesn't care, why would anyone else?
When it comes to loving your daughters be sure to recognize the “Hero Worship Syndrome” shining brightly in your child’s eyes. There’s nothing her daddy can’t do. Your influence matters. How you treat her matters. Something as simple as listening to her, eating together, holding hands, hugs, helping with homework, praying together and giving her your undivided attention make all the difference, these things go a long way in building respect for you as her father. Make her laugh, act silly with her, show her love and affection. Be consistent, let her know she can depend on you. When she’s feeling self-conscious about herself, tell her how beautiful , she is. And always tell her the truth. Teach her that she can be whatever her hearts desire is to be. It's important that she physically sees these things from you first hand. Teach her what she needs to know so that she will be able to recognize when she has found the right man to be her life mate. She will recognize him because he will love her and care for her and treat her with the same respect and reverence as you, but on a much more intimate level.
Lead by example, by showing her how she should be treated by a man. Trust me, she’s watching your every move.….. I asked a young lady,
“Who is your hero?” she answered without hesitation,
When I asked why, she said,
“Because he protects me and takes care of me. He get’s me. He loves me. He’s always there for me and if something should happen to him, I think I would cry for the rest of my life”.
I don’t know about you, but that’s love and devotion to me…..
Support her, and whatever you do, NEVER break your promise to her…..she will not forget. Above all else, give her your unconditional love, by SHOWING HER that you love her. What she sees with her own eyes and hears with her own ears is what will stay with her longer than anything else. Then again, that's just my point of view. ;)